I was into this man from work, for almost ten years now. He is a few years younger than me, I am 45, and we are both married.
The disaster of a marriage I am in, is one of the reasons I found this place, but not to go into details, we practically have separated sex and social lives, but we keep appearances, for some reason, that we forgot in the mean time, so I know that he has a woman he sees, and I have had a few adventures as well, but nothing long term.
My colleague, the one I was into, is a wide shoulder, slim, tall man, with dark hair and thick, trimmed beard, dressed to impress, and I was throwing hints his way, for a long, long time, a touch on the shoulder, a joke, etc. I know he was looking at me in that way, since, not to sound over confident, I am still a good looking woman, especially for my age.
So, on Friday, at our Christmas party, I did my best to impress him. Little note, we do not bring our spouses to these things (Europe), so I danced with him, all night, and he was returning the signals, and, we ended up in a hotel room.
As I said before, I had a few adventures since my marriage practically seized to exist, but there is a reason I used past tense in the first sentence of this confession. While, all my life, men were pretty weary around me, I don't know if it is my looks, my overall vibe or something, but most men would be quite careful and vanilla with me. He wasn't, he was mean, rough, and disrespectful. It was mostly anal, with unnecessary roughness, insults, hair pulling, slapping, spitting... I never felt so dirty and humiliated in my life.
I felt great deal of shame after it was done. I didn't like it, and my crush on him just went away, but Friday night, I had the most intense orgasm of my life.
And before you ask, I will not do it again, but I do recognize that the physical pleasure I felt, was sweet and bitter at the same time, yet not sweet enough, to make me want the replay.
